Ulpan Shock and Awe

So I have done the basic, the government pays for it, five month Ulpan, and did fairly well(finished at ramah dalet). So I decided that while getting by and understanding what is going on in Yeshiva is an admirable goal, better fluency is well just better. So I started a new Ulpan. I have always believed in efficiency and getting the biggest bang for your buck. So with that I started a private Ulpan where everything is done one on one with them catering to your strengths and more importantly weaknesses. They also claim to be able to take you one full level in just two weeks.

At first I was skeptical, I really was. However have completed the first couple of days, I am no longer skeptical. They call their method RLA, Rapid Language Acquisition. I call it Shock and Awe. For instance in my first, normal paced ulpan, where I was at the head of my class, we learned about 60-100 words a month, usually falling out around 70-75 words, of which the teachers expected you to really learn 50-60%. Here I have 100 new words in the first two days, and what is more, they really expect you to know them!!! All of them. At this rate a level in just two weeks seems easily doable. That is if my brain doesn't fry first. We will see how it goes and I will report back.

Burning in Hell

I was walking through Ben Yehuda street the other day, going to meet a friend and was accosted by a god-botherer handing out pamphlets. He tried to convince me that G-d was too busy for my petty concerns and thus I needed an intermediary. Not only would this intermediary here my prayers, but would also save me and ensure me a life in afterworld and the world to come. This intermediary was none other then Hashem manifest in the body of a man.

I told him that I was fine and that in fact that ideas such as those border on Avoda Zera(idolatry). To which I was told to be more mindful of what I say as they could land me in very deep water, and calling this idolatry would land me in eternal flame with a bed of worms.

First question is if I am in eternal flame, how are there worms? That aside, I am a Rabbi, I have been for the past seven years. I also study at one of the premier Kabbalistic Yeshivot in Israel, so I think I have a good handle on what results in afterlife or not and what is idolatry or not. But none of that worked on my new pamphlet passing friend. No. I was assured that I was going to face eternal torment unless I accepted the truth of his messiah.

Now I know what you are thinking, what's the deal, this is typical J4J, Messianic, Xtian craziness that you can't live in Israel without encountering. However, that is not the case at all. This was none of the above. This was a full out Lubavitcher, trying to convince me of the merits of the G-d-Man Menachem Mendel Schneerson.

Now other name and dates, if anyone could answer me what is the difference between the Chabad crowd and their manifest G-d, saviour of the universe, died for my sins Messiah, and the aforementioned groups, I would love to hear it.

I can only think of two differences.
1) They don't claim their guy has been resurrected yet.
2) The Rabbis are sitting this one out, as opposed to the more active approach of the past.